“A nurse must be caring. If you are not ..."

In June and July 2011, I did my clinical update in the medical and geriatric units of two different local hospitals. This is an unofficial requirement of all faculties in our school.

The visiting hour arrived. As an observer, I had a lot of time and freedom to do what I considered useful for my own learning. I went around talking to patients’ relatives. I saw this older woman feeding an even older woman and took an interest in them. It was a daughter visiting her mother in the hospital. As the daughter was giving sips of water to her mother, I asked for permission to take a picture of them. The daughter happily agreed. She started telling me that she had been on television and had been interviewed for radio programs before. She told me her mother was 101 and asked me to guess how old she was. She said she was 76. (She looks younger than her age.)

The lunch hour arrived, and I went to the canteen (café). There I met the daughter again, and we started chatting. Taking care of her mother had become her career now. She would leave home each day around 10 a.m. and arrive at the hospital well before 11:30, the first visiting time slot. Then, at 12:30 p.m., she would leave the ward and go to the café. She would sit in a distant corner until the lunchtime rush hour was through and then order her lunch. She would wait in the café until 5 p.m., the second visiting period, then stay with her mother until 8 p.m., when she would go home. She said it was her daily routine and that it was OK for her, because it was her mother.

She went on to tell me that she had studied geology in college in Beijing, that she used to work for the government of the People’s Republic of China and that her work was well appreciated by her supervisors. She took pride in the many projects she participated in, which were mainly related to irrigation and flood control.

And then we talked about care. We talked about nursing. I invited her to come and speak to my students in the coming semester. Without any prompting, she emphasized that there are a few things that are required of a nurse. “First, you must have a caring heart. You must love your job. If you don’t, you may as well not be a nurse. Second, as a nurse, you must treat the seniors you care for as your own relatives. Don’t choose this job only for the money.”

Nicely put.

I am humbled by her insights, her openness and her dedication to her mother. Yes, you need to be caring as a nurse. If you are not, you may as well not be a nurse.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.