Reverse ageism

Some of our students participated in a volunteer project, visiting seniors we believed to be “hidden” from society. They either lived alone or without adequate social support.

I went with one of the students to visit an elderly woman in her 80s. She was a nice, pleasantly plump woman who manages very well on her own. She can walk around independently, albeit slowly, and she can go shopping and attend medical follow-ups without assistance. She says she likes staying home, and hardly ever goes out. We tried to encourage her to join the nearby social center, which is why my student was sent to visit her. But she was clearly in possession of all her faculties, and knew what she wanted. She said she didn’t feel bored spending her time at home. She had worked as a maid/nanny her entire life. Although she lived alone, the children of her former employer, whom she had served for many years, would call and visit her every now and then. She had brought them up and was like family to them. It was clear that she was not depressed and was very much in control of her own affairs.

After speaking with her for a while, I came to realize that she was not in need of any external help. She did not like to join trips organized by the center because she didn’t want to make others wait for her. She did not want to spend more of her time at the center because she was the kind of person who didn’t like to be in lots of group activities. She was not what we would call a role model of active ageing, but she was self-sufficient. She was leading the kind of life she wanted and was not making any intentional efforts to isolate herself from others. She was not “hidden” from social services. She had limited social contacts, but this was, indeed, the way of life she intended to lead. Who are we to say that she needed more social contact?

With the hype about healthy living and active ageing in recent years, we have formulated notions about living and ageing, what active ageing means and how to go about ageing in an active manner. We have a stereotype for those we think have aged successfully.

During our 45-minute visit with this woman, I reminded myself once more that I must not let reverse ageism cloud my lens, that I should respect people’s choices of how they live their lives and that I must not impose what I believe is right on people who have experienced living a lot longer than I have.

I do believe there are multiple models of successful ageing. Active ageing is but one of them.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

The luckiest generation

The first batch of baby boomers has been turning 60 since 2005, 60 years after the end of the Second World War. To my mind, the baby boomers—myself included—are the luckiest generation ever.

We were able to appreciate the world when it progressed at a much slower rate, and we are also able to adapt to the fast-moving world of today.

We are able to appreciate nature when we travel. We look out of trains at the scenery rather than focusing on our latest portable IT gadget, whatever it may be.

We appreciate the relaxed feeling that comes after exerting our physical body in vigorous exercise. We also like Wii, but do not use it to replace real exercise.

We enjoy life, and we also appreciate the virtue of hard work. While maintaining a good quality of life is essential to us, we also know the value of saving money in the bank. Statistics tell us that wealth accumulation is higher among baby boomers. We are also aware that the younger generations are more inclined to enjoy life, rather than being work-driven like their parents and grandparents.

We know about the joy of writing and receiving letters, but we also appreciate the instantaneous advantage of e-mail and are quite ready to use it or learn how to use it. We are definitely better at spelling.

Call it the bias of the older generations, but I do think we are better equipped to appreciate the arts and craftsmanship of older times. This is because we were brought up in a period when the world moved at a slower pace.

We have the best of both worlds—an older one and the current one—and I am grateful for that.

Having made these observations, I remind myself that, to better understand the younger generations, I must keep an open mind. As a researcher, I should know that humans are easily blinded by prior experiences and perceptions. I remind myself that I must not become so set in my ways that I am unable to see the virtues of generations other than mine.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Fair and chic

A nice tan is much pursued by ladies (and maybe gents) of the West, but it is not so for people in the East. While the tan of someone in a Western country may be the result of a vacation in some exotic tropical place, dark skin is undesirable in the East.

Have you ever noticed while traveling in Asia that women (and men too, sometimes) like to carry an umbrella with them to shade them from the sun? It is not only older women who do this, although they are more inclined to do so. Many younger Asian women are aware of the damage that ultraviolet rays will do to their skin. Lying on the beach or the balcony to enjoy the sun is not a common pastime for Asian women, unless they are very westernized. Fairness in complexion or, to be exact, whiteness of the skin, is valued a lot more than a nice tan in Asia, probably by both sexes.

If you travel in Vietnam, where a bike—motorized or non-motorized—is a common vehicle for commuting, you will see women wearing long detachable sleeves on their arms. The same if you visit Japan; you will come across many women wearing large-brimmed hats and detachable sleeves on their arms while taking a stroll in the park.

While a tan on someone in the West may indicate affluence, in the sense that they have taken a vacation to enjoy distant beaches and the sun, it may imply something different in the East. Traditionally, only Asian women who are from the working class need to work outside of their home and be exposed to the merciless sun.

There is a saying in southern China that mere whiteness of the skin is capable of masking three counts of ugliness in a person. So there you go.




For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.