Illness experience I: A new kind of pain sensation

As a health care professional and going through life year by year, I thought I knew pain. But then, after my magnetic resonance imaging, I realized I didn't know pain as I thought I did.

They injected dye into an artery, which is just like drawing blood or putting in an infusion—nothing serious. After they finished my imaging and had taken out the arterial catheter, I had to press the insertion site for five minutes. The site then looked a bit swollen, reddish and was more “painful” than I expected (not really hurting badly, but hurting for sure). It was a strange feeling that I couldn't describe. Because it was a dye and it was my artery, I was wary. Aware of the possibility of adverse events such as allergy or shock, I pressed the bell and called for the technician. He told me he noticed nothing unusual and that my wrist was just like normal. So I had reported it. Just in case anything happened, I had mentioned it. I still felt a bit uncomfortable at the insertion site when I went home. The pain sensation was mild, but it was there. It was a kind of pain I had not experienced before.

Traveling the same bus route, I went back to my office and picked up my mammograms and ultrasound records to take them to the hospital. I thus had plenty of time to take in the new sensation and look at my wrist. After an hour or so, the redness had gone down. So had the mild swelling, as well as the mild pain and discomfort.

If only the technician had known about this kind of pain, if only he had been more observant, he wouldn't have been so adamant about seeing nothing abnormal, because I was 100 percent positive my wrist did look different than normal, at least a little. If only he had known, he would also have known how to comfort and reassure a patient.

I think to myself that, now that I know about a new kind of pain experience, I will be able to reassure my patients in the future. I know now, from personal experience. And I wonder what kinds of pain I will experience from my surgery. I am going to learn about new things. I thought of the moment when the nurse tried to insert an intravenous catheter into my artery. I was really apprehensive. It hurt more when she was about to insert it than when she was actually doing it. Apprehension makes it hurt more. I am handling everything well now, but I wonder how I will do when I go into the operating room.

Well, one thing is for sure. I will be a better health professional after my own experience as a patient. And be assured that I am not afraid. I am not.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Foreword

When the editor of Reflections on Nursing Leadership asked me to write a blog, I was hesitant to say yes but, eventually, I agreed, hoping to foster sharing of thoughts and experiences in health and nursing across continents. The first thing I would like to share is my experience as a cancer patient. I was diagnosed as having stage I mucinous carcinoma on 17 September 2009 and subsequently went through surgery and radiotherapy. During that period, I shared bits and pieces of my thoughts as a nurse-turned-patient with my family and close friends. My illness experience has certainly taught me some important things in my life. Because these thoughts were just for sharing with friends and family, there are no big lessons or dramas. Nevertheless, I would humbly like to share them with you.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.