We need meaningful engagement.

My sister often complains that Mom loves to sleep and that she sleeps too much. When we ask her to get up, she responds, “What is there to do?” She thinks she has nothing to do, and it doesn’t matter if she sleeps in.

My students and I visited a nursing home for nuns in Macau. It was 4 p.m. when our visit was almost done. We said goodbye to some of the nuns who were in bed and, before we left, asked one of them if she would like to get up. She said no; she had nothing to do. It was fine for her to lie quietly in bed.

My mother spends a lot of time in bed out of her own choice. I don’t know if it is the same for the nun we met. Although their daily lives are structured–they get up, groom, eat, rest, and go to bed—it it likely that they do so without engaging in activities that are meaningful to them. At least, that is the way I see it.

When kids explore their world by bumping around, we think they are normal; that they are healthy, active kids. When people grow old, we think it is OK for them to lie in bed not doing anything. Why is that OK?

Would my sister and I feel better if my mother got up, sat around and did nothing? Would it make visitors to the nursing home for nuns feel better if Sister got out of bed and sat in a wheelchair, but with nothing to do? By doing so, they would maintain the appearance of being “normal.” So I could happily attend to my own business?

As a gero nurse, I did not fully appreciate the importance of being engaged in life until I encountered these situations. People of all ages need to be engaged in meaningful activities. When they can no longer do this because of cognitive or physical impairment, it is up to us to create a structured world for them that is meaningful. They need to get up, engage in small tasks, talk to people, do things for themselves, or do little things for others. Only with meaningful engagement will our time in this world be worth living.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Wet markets: Not super, just better

I love wet markets. I guess many of us do. Wet markets are extremely colorful, full of scents and sounds. A wide variety of goods are on display for sale. Our eyes try to make sense of the myriad colors and textures. Our noses are suddenly awakened to a complex mix of aromas. Our feet move along with those of others in the crowd toward the spots with the greatest commotion. All of these are wonderful moments, making one feel very much alive.

The wet market is a social place, not just a market.

Nowadays, grocery shopping in supermarkets is the norm—clean, highly organized and efficient, but never as attractive. Older people love wet markets, where they can chat with the person selling the goods, some of whom may have become their friends. As “older” customers, they enjoy perks and special privileges. Day in and day out, they make trips to the wet market to buy fresh food to prepare meals for their families. The wet market is a social place, not just a market.

For the younger generation, supermarkets may be the preferred choice. I must confess that I sometimes prefer a supermarket to a wet market, too. I like the fact that, most of the time, I can trust the origins of the foods I buy, that the vegetables I purchase will not rot so easily, because they have not been excessively sprayed with water. Also, the scales work properly and won’t cheat me.

But when I am not in a hurry, when I am in a good mood, I, like our Hong Kong seniors, love to go to a nearby wet market to get the groceries I need. I enjoy seeing people making an honest living out of labor. The wet market is so much more human. You can talk to the person next to you without worrying about whether or not you are observing proper social etiquette. In fact, you are expected to chat with those around you.

The supermarket will never replace the wet market. Just as canned soup will never compare to a mother’s homemade soup.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.