Little acts of kindness

More stories from my clinical update experience (see previous post) ...

I have told you that, as an observer, I did not have any patient responsibilities, so was free to do anything I wanted to enrich my learning. I was able to go around the ward and observe ongoing procedures. I could also fill up patients’ cups with warm, boiled water. Older Chinese men and women do not like cold drinks, and we always drink boiled water. I could fetch a patient a bedpan or urinal if they needed one, or pass a request to the nurse in charge of their care.

During visiting hours, I also had time to talk to them and their families or friends. I was impressed by the families’ devotion to the patients and told them I appreciated how much they cared. I have had family members admitted into hospital, and I know what it is like to have to visit a close relative in hospital on a daily basis.

Anyway, that was all I did—just little things, really unremarkable, but even within the short period of time that I spent on the unit, these patients (as an observer, I can’t call them my patients) repeatedly complimented me on how kind and good I was. It was truly embarrassing when they loudly told me I was the best. I could only tell them that it seemed so because I was the only one who had all the time in the world there, without any particular responsibilities. I told them other nurses would act just the same in my position. I didn’t deserve those compliments.

To me, this clearly demonstrates that people do not expect us nurses to solve all of their problems. Nurses are ever so cautious when patients and their relatives ask how they, the patients, are doing. Surely we can do better than just saying, “This is a question for the doctor,” or “I will let the doctor know you are concerned.”

We don’t need to solve all of their problems. They know we can’t. They just want an acknowledgment of their pain and burden. They need a moment to vent and a pat on the shoulder to give them the extra bit of energy they need to go on.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

“A nurse must be caring. If you are not ..."

In June and July 2011, I did my clinical update in the medical and geriatric units of two different local hospitals. This is an unofficial requirement of all faculties in our school.

The visiting hour arrived. As an observer, I had a lot of time and freedom to do what I considered useful for my own learning. I went around talking to patients’ relatives. I saw this older woman feeding an even older woman and took an interest in them. It was a daughter visiting her mother in the hospital. As the daughter was giving sips of water to her mother, I asked for permission to take a picture of them. The daughter happily agreed. She started telling me that she had been on television and had been interviewed for radio programs before. She told me her mother was 101 and asked me to guess how old she was. She said she was 76. (She looks younger than her age.)

The lunch hour arrived, and I went to the canteen (café). There I met the daughter again, and we started chatting. Taking care of her mother had become her career now. She would leave home each day around 10 a.m. and arrive at the hospital well before 11:30, the first visiting time slot. Then, at 12:30 p.m., she would leave the ward and go to the café. She would sit in a distant corner until the lunchtime rush hour was through and then order her lunch. She would wait in the café until 5 p.m., the second visiting period, then stay with her mother until 8 p.m., when she would go home. She said it was her daily routine and that it was OK for her, because it was her mother.

She went on to tell me that she had studied geology in college in Beijing, that she used to work for the government of the People’s Republic of China and that her work was well appreciated by her supervisors. She took pride in the many projects she participated in, which were mainly related to irrigation and flood control.

And then we talked about care. We talked about nursing. I invited her to come and speak to my students in the coming semester. Without any prompting, she emphasized that there are a few things that are required of a nurse. “First, you must have a caring heart. You must love your job. If you don’t, you may as well not be a nurse. Second, as a nurse, you must treat the seniors you care for as your own relatives. Don’t choose this job only for the money.”

Nicely put.

I am humbled by her insights, her openness and her dedication to her mother. Yes, you need to be caring as a nurse. If you are not, you may as well not be a nurse.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.