My last journal entry is dated October 4, the afternoon before I was admitted into St. Teresa's Hospital. And this is 10 days later.
I have had a lot of thoughts, but no time to consolidate them. Life does not wait for us to get settled. It moves on, regardless of the circumstances.
While I was at the hospital, Sister Woo once asked me how my illness has changed the way I look at life. It was a good question, because, in a lot of ways, I don't think it has had such a profound impact as changing my life. But then her question made me think about things a bit more.
In the hospital, it is relatively easy to stay focused on the metaphysical side of things, to tell yourself that life has many dimensions and that work should be just one of many, to let go of the unimportant matters in life and not be bothered by them, and so on and so forth. Coming back home, back “down to earth,” it is more difficult to stay ”spiritual.” There are repairs needed around the apartment. There is the need to stay connected with families and friends—they will call and you will call them. You also have to sort out what you are going to do next in terms of following up on your own health. Staying in the hospital is boring but singular in purpose. Staying home for recuperation is not necessarily so.
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
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