I have read Erikson’s writings about the psychosocial task of old age. I have even discussed his perspectives in an assignment for a master’s course I took. But do I really know what integration means?
Does it mean making meaning out of one’s entire life experience? Does integration require us to determine what achievements we have made in our long life? Or to accept the fact that we really are small beings and have led ordinary lives? Does it involve finding out which relationships still bother us and settling all grudges with those we dislike? If that is not possible, does it mean we accept that we will never be able to make peace with those people we can no longer reach, to let it go and not let it bother us again? Or is it about forgiving ourselves for being silly, cruel, vain and stupid at various times in our lives?
What is integration, really? Is it possible? How do you forgive yourself for the tempers you have thrown and the cruel things you have said or done to people? How do you integrate odd and unsettling experiences that, over the years, you purposely have tried to forget? How can things be put into perspective when you cannot make sense out of these weird experiences?
Can integration occur if, after long introspection, you don’t like who you are or have far too many regrets? Can it happen only when you can see yourself in a positive light?
How, in old age, do we integrate all the things that have happened to us over a lifetime? As a gerontologist and a person, I am intrigued. I realize that I don’t really know.
Older people have a lot of work to do in meeting this developmental challenge. And only they can provide firsthand knowledge.
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
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