About mental space

As an academic, I write a lot. I write research papers, discussion papers, speeches, funding proposals, program documents, consultation reports and so on and so forth. So I am not new to being a “writer.” After starting this blog, however, I have been introduced to one of the worlds of a writer that I had not thought about.

I have not been up close and personal with people I do not know. Such particulars about myself, I typically only share with friends and close acquaintances. I know to whom I have spoken and why I would have told them about myself. But I feel strange knowing that someone about whom I know nothing can come to know my intimate thoughts and feelings. I need time to get over this.

I already know about cultural differences from back in my student days, when I was in England learning to become a midwife (studies I never put into practice, as you are probably aware, if you’ve been following my blog). It was my first trip away from home and, therefore, the biggest culture shock I ever experienced. I was somewhat taken aback that people would share their life stories with strangers they met on the street, or in places such as train and bus stations. I didn’t think—and still don’t think—that a regular Joe or Jane in the Chinese population would do something like this. It is not about whether readiness to share details of one’s life with strangers is good or bad. It is just that there are cultural differences with regard to how we relate to other people.

I thought the British were more reserved, but my first-hand experience as a student midwife in England told me otherwise. Chinese people are more “reserved” with strangers. And it is not just about keeping “face.” As I become more exposed to the world outside my hometown, I am coming to realize that there is, indeed, such a thing as “national characteristics.” Sometimes, it may be an over-generalization but, at other times, you will notice similarities and differences between cultures. Well, with modernization and globalization, we are behaving a lot more like each other, no matter whether we live in the East or the West.

Back to my musings about writing a blog. So this is what a blogger will have to come to accept, that there will be people who know his or her personal particulars and innermost thoughts, even though the writer doesn’t know those people at all. To me, it takes a person who is very comfortable with him or herself to be a blogger. Then again, maybe not. I am new to the experience.

I start analyzing why I don’t feel secure having people I don’t know knowing about me. I ask myself why I don’t readily give the URL for my blog to students and acquaintances. I think it is because I have been a rather private person all along, and I am one of those who need a lot of space between other people and myself, including those I love or am fond of.

Yet again, this is a lesson for me to learn. Why not take it easy? Why not accept it as it is? We are, after all, living in the age of the Internet. As I reflect on this, I realize there is a fundamental difference between me and those who have no reservations whatsoever about making friends over the Internet, who incorporate the cyber world as an integral part of their regular world.

Maybe I can further contemplate this idea and use it to help me better appreciate the differences between Generations X, Y and Z. After all, there is no better way to learn something than firsthand.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.