Signs and symptoms of having had cancer

I thought having cancer hadn’t changed me much. But, as time goes by, I notice that, indeed, I have changed, although in less conspicuous ways.

Symptom 1: Becoming sentimental
I have become more sentimental. I notice that I am very much into taking pictures nowadays, much more so than before. I carry my camera around a lot. As time goes by, I realize that it is because I try to capture glimpses of my life, knowing that every small chunk of time is but a fleeting moment. These fleeting moments will, one day, add up together to make my whole life.

Symptom 2: Becoming more sociable
I have become more geared toward having parties and social gatherings. In the past, my project teams would just meet to discuss things. I rarely called for parties and get-togethers. But now I do. I used to enjoy time with myself—doing household chores, listening to music, reading books and magazines, watching television. Now I make more effort to be with others, and I make mental notes to remind myself how nice it is to be around people.

Symptom 3: Becoming more forgiving
Things students do that irritated me in the past are no longer as offensive. For example, I can’t tolerate it when students keep chatting while someone else is speaking, be it a guest speaker, other students or me. I consider this to be very rude. These days, however, when students still happily chat away in class, I am not as mad. I still ask them to please take turns to speak—between the speaker and audience, that is—but I don’t get upset like I used to.

I would say that these changes are for the better. And they are changes I did not quite expect. They must be linked to a reframing of my perspective on life after having cancer.

I hope they stay.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International (STTI).